el diario de bridget jones, de helen fielding

Oh why am I so unattractive? Why? Just had hateful dream where Mark Darcy, beautiful and gleaming in gold leaf on a statue in Trafalgar Square was dangling me on end of a big gun wearing no pants and dropped me into the pigeons with a cruel laugh. No one loves or cares about me. Hate 1996. Hate everyone... Anyway have got giant tray-sized bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk left over from Christmas on dressing table, also amusing joke Gin and Tonic miniature. Am going to consume those and have fag. I wonder how old Mark Darcy is?